1. My Partner Is Using Me for… Love?

It sounds like you’re in a healthy, functional relationship.

2. Why Scary Movies Aren’t Actually Scary

Does the knife really have to be a metaphor?

3. When Your Favorite Restaurant Makes You Sick

Maybe I’m just suddenly allergic to everything?

4. Which CH Castmember Are You?

Raise your hands if you only like movies starring puppets

5. It’s Hard Being Married to the Sea

She’s salty and unpredictable, but she can cause the perfect storm. Not to mention the crabs.

6. The Baby of the Friend Group

She’s technically 30, but she has the practical life skills of a toddler.

7. Your Friend Who Thinks Going to the Gym Fixes Everything

Attempting cardio isn’t going to outweigh the drugs you’ve done.

8. You Don’t Remember These Disney Channel Original Movies!?

You can’t get through life if you haven’t seen the 2001 classic “The Luck of the Irish”.

9. The Guy Who “Doesn’t Know” Mainstream Music

You’re not better than anyone just because you bought tickets to see the opener.

10. No, I Don’t Deserve Nice Things

Perfume is just gassy soap! I don’t *need* to enjoy things without explicit practical value!

11. When You’re Too Good at CPR

Don’t be a dummy!

12. You’re Getting an Office Paypig!

Sharing findom duties is a lot of responsibility.

14. The Site That Commits Treason & Tells You What Your Parents Are Doing

Sure, it’s undermined the fabric of our democracy AND destroyed us, but otherwise it’s a good way to kill some time.

15. You’re My Least Helpful Friend

Katie’s there for you, if you confide in her immediately.

16. America’s Next Food Obsession: Potatoes

Bacon, pizza, tacos…POTATOES.

17. How Did You Get on Raya?!

Not to be insulting, but HOW DID YOU GET ON THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DATING APP?!

18. Stop Recommending Things!

We are discontent with the amount of content out there.

19. Complimenting Someone to Trick Them into Doing Work

You’re just SO good at doing manual labor that I would otherwise have to do, ya know?

20. I Just Got 100k New Followers!

My newest fan, r710hgmz2811, just LOVES posting about Bitcoin!

21. Allegations Are Making It Impossible to Watch Anything

NOT YOU TOO, BOB BALABAN!

22. All Scars Are Badass

Visible scars are always cool, except when they’re not.

23. When Your Friend’s Weekend Plans All Sound Terrible

Put me down as a “Maybe”.