1. Gus Honeybun's Tears

The South West. From Westward to Carlton, starring Ian Stirling, Peter Griffin and Gus Honeybun.

2. It's Glam Up North

Granada. The North West in excelsis, starring Charles Foster, the Bernstein Brothers and Colin Weston.

3. From Hell to Breakfast

TV-am. The eighties' morning glory and despair, starring David Frost, Anne Diamond, Timmy Mallett and Roland Rat.

4. South of Heaven

The South. Coast to Coast with taters and toast, starring Christopher Robbie, Brian Nissen, Fred Dinenage and Wizadora.

5. On Emley Moor Baht'At

Yorkshire. Looming brass-band terror, starring Redvers Kyle, Paul Lally and Bruce Gyngell again.

6. Survival of the Fittest

Anglia. The Wales of the East, starring Aubrey Buxton, Nicholas Parsons and some sort of puppet cat.

7. Once Upon a Time in the Midlands

The centre of the network, starring Lew Grade, Benny from Crossroads and a cake.

8. Bread of Heaven

Wales. Obviously the most important place in the whole world, with two Lords, Annie St. John and some dragons.

10. Sunrise/Sunset

GMTV. Another morning in a different kitchen, starring Eamonn Holmes, Fiona Armstrong and a working fireplace.

11. There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

Border and Channel. Two companies that couldn't sustain a full half hour, mashed together into one, starring Craig Austin, Oscar T. Puffin and Rudyard Kipling.

12. No Sleep 'Til Nightscreen

Night Time. The story of the late, late shift, starring a cat, some owls, some dancing light and Dani Behr.

13. War and Peace

Ulster. Troubled television, starring Julian Simmons, the IRA and a telly on a stick. This episode was completed shortly before UTV placed their television assets up for sale.

14. Space Invaders

Satellite and Digital. GSkyB and what followed. Repeats, mulch and third-division football, beamed from space into the homes of almost no-one, starring the wasted talent of Lambie-Nairn, a big capital G, and a stuffed monkey.

15. Caledonia Uber Alles

Grampian and Scottish - a parcel of rogues and rouge, starring Tony Currie, Colin Lamont, Kay Duncan, a thistle and the Saltire.

16. Let Me Take You By the Hand...

London. Where all things begin and where all things end, with Philip Elsmore, David Frost and Michael Green.